Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
