We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
