just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
