Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
