At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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