***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
where am i from again
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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