i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
