better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize