Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
