my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
