So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
