I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
