Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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