Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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