he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
When did angry sex become our thing?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
