yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
