If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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