Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
