Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
