I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
