I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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