my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
