I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I have feelings that need drinking.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
