Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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