Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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