I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize