just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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