Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
