did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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