It's Friday. Sex?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
