i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
