He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
My cat gives me a boner
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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