Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
