So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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