I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
