I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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