I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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