i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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