Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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