It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
