margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
