I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
