hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
