hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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