I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
