You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I had to cum in my sink.
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