RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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