I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize