you're like a bully in the Christmas story
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
