u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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