In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
