She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
This toilet bowl is my home.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
