i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
