hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
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