I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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