My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
