i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
