Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize